The Beast: Come out, Smith. You’re overreacting.
Smith: YOU’RE TRYING TO EAT ME!
The Beast: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Killing comes first and then we’ll see what happens. Don’t let’s jump to conclusions.
Smith: Oh no, WE wouldn’t want that.
The Beast: Look at the situation objectively, said the beast. What options do you have? You’re prolonging the inevitable out of a purely emotional response. This is a classic ‘Smith flying off the handle’.
Smith recognized the phrase from his last performance review.
Smith: Really?! REALLY?!
The thick door shook for a moment as its latch made the first click of movement before stopping.
The Beast: See? That’s what I mean. Not that I don’t want you to come out.
Smith: Shut up!
The Beast: Watch your tone, Smith.
Smith: Or what? You’ll contact HR? Give me a verbal warning?
The Beast: Fair enough, the beast agreed. Now, let me in.
Smith: NO! Go kill someone else in our department!
The Beast: Can’t do that, Smith. The board voted on this.
The Beast: Smith? I can hear the pulse in your neck. Smell the lactic acid in your muscles. I know you’re still there.
Smith: Why me?
The Beast: The economy is changing. Cuts have to be made. We need team players who will toe the line. You’re too much of a lone wolf. Oh, dear. I inadvertently made a small joke.
The latch moved its full distance. Slowly the door opened. Smith stood stoic and unflinching in the presence of the beast.
Smith: What did the rest of my review say?
The beast considered Smith’s last request for a moment.
The Beast: It is against company policy to fully disclose performance evaluations to employees but I’ll tell you. Given different circumstances it was arguably positive. You pay attention to details others miss, you think outside the box, and you tend to be prepared.
Smith: Thank you. You took me by surprise earlier. I just needed a second to collect myself.
The beast smiled back. Smith was finally being logical. Smith suddenly raised his fist to the beast’s face. He was holding something. It was small and looked metallic. Without warning it released a loud BANG! The beast’s last thought before the silver bullet exited the back of his skull was that he should have seen this coming.