Wednesday, May 31, 2017

I Am the Terror That Croaks in The Night!

He offered me a Watchtower.
Meet the Eastern American Toad. A nocturnal hunter of man and beast built to survive even in the extreme conditions of space. Don't let the cute eyes and small body fool you. It's a killer of the highest order. Experts in herpetology have reported them overtaking and flipping automobiles. I barely escaped this one. I distracted it by asking if it thought the new Star Trek series Discovery was going to be any good. Toads are CRAZY about sci-fi. I slipped away while it drew a diagram of the new ship design on the ground with a stick. Risky, but worth it.

See? Terrifying.
Remember this lesson, kids: Toads are killers obsessed with sci-fi. KNOW YOUR SCI-FI! It could save your life. We're in this together and I'm here to help.

You're welcome.

Be seeing you,

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