Sunday, April 7, 2019

Funko's Alien 40th Anniversary Breakfast Cereal

May 25th, 1979 taught the world in splashes of vivid red the value of a nutritional meal to fuel your mind and body in case you have to RUN FOR YOUR FU$#@NG LIFE. "Alien" premiered to soiled theater seats around the country (and eventually the world) opening a new vista of sci-fi horror that remains wide open today.

But you know this. That's why you're here, right? You know about the films and books and comics, right? But do you know about the cereal? WELL DO YOU?

Let's start with the obvious question: Does it taste like a Xenomorph? Interesting question. No, it does not. It lacks the acrid taste you would expect when biting into a creature with molecular acid for blood. Instead, it reminds one of a less sugary Fruit Loop. It mellows a bit more in milk while retaining its crunch for a reasonable time period. Taste wise, I give it a solid 6.5 - 7 out of 10.

There's a maze on the back of the box. Or is it? Perhaps the back of the box is a metaphorical journey where we the consumer can experience life as a consumer of a different kind. Perhaps it is an allusion to the painful existential journey a facehugger must face knowing death is its only reward for exiting the egg? Its next phase of existence starts at the TOP of the egg when it opens, yet the phase FINISHES when the hugger plants an embryo, a smaller egg, into the center of another life form. They burn facehuggers, don't they? Yes. Yes, they do. 

With all the horror of a H.R. Geiger design, here's how much cereal you get for $14.99 plus tax.

$14.99 + tax, ladies and gentlemen
Potato chip makers around the world are applauding this air-to-product ratio. I know I'm paying overwhelmingly for the packaging and the little figure. (Seen here.)

But still $14.99? FYE's website sells this exclusive for $9.99 making it a more cost effective avenue than their brick-n-mortar footprints. The cereal tastes just fine, but you would spend beaucoup dollars making this a regular part of your nutritious breakfast. Definitely an obvious impulse item or gift buy. 

Worth buying? Yes. 

Worth eating? Yes.

Thanks for spending time here today, gentle reader.

Be seeing you,


Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Two Collections and One Novel Now Available on Kindle


I now have three works available for purchase on the Kindle. HUZZAH!

Two are selected works from the blog, one is a revised and updated novel available nowhere else.

Let's have a look.

Eleven of my favorite non-fiction posts in one place. "Essays, Rants, the odd Good Point, and other Doings and Memes that seemed like a good idea at the time. Who really invented Potato Chips? Does the real math of The Great Pyramid add up? Are zombies the real threat? If my side is good and yours is bad then where do we stand? Do I have any idea what I am talking about? Good questions, one and all. Join me, won't you?"

Purchase it for only $2 here --->   You Know What You Should Buy?

A revised and updated version available only on Kindle. "Was it a miracle, or is Father Michael a puppet of powers less than divine? In the 22nd century, humanity creates true artificial intelligence. This new, human-like species, Homo mechanicus, quickly proves it is not a monster of science fiction lore, and society returns to relative normalcy within a few generations. That is until Father Michael Alan Cline, the world’s first and only non-human priest, performs a very public miracle. A creation of science dwelling in the realm of the spiritual, his life and faith fall into chaos as he struggles to comprehend what is happening to him. Ancient debates over life, free will, and faith resurface as Rome decides how best to investigate what appears to be a non-human vessel of God. The Pope’s solution: to dispatch an investigator who is an expert in the science of Homo mechanicus yet does not believe they are sentient."

Purchase it here for &7.99  --->  Saint Five

I like ALL my fiction works! Picking eleven was really hard but here it is. "Join me for a walk, gentle reader, in worlds of love or talking cars amidst a zombie apocalypse, small monsters with big ambitions, Goliath’s side of the story, a death trap for a superhero, my own brush with the unexplained, and others."

Purchase it here for only $2 --->  Is This Your Two Dollars?

THANK YOU for your support, gentle reader. A purchase, the sharing of a link, or a suggestion to a friend means a lot to me. I want to make A LOT more content both here and on YouTube. Your support moves me closer to that goal each and every step.

Be seeing you,

- Sam