Friday, January 20, 2017

Putting the Mental back into Mental Illness (Updated)



Today is a great day to slip into something comfortable and spill a little dirt about me that just might apply to you, gentle reader. My dirt could be your dirt. We might share the same dirt, you might say. You could also say we’re getting dirty together but you shouldn’t because that would change the entire context of the blog. 

I have Bi-Polar II Disorder.

Right?

I’m not going to start listing medical definitions or stats or whatnot. That's not my point here. My three-cent definition for BP2D (sounds like a droid) is as follows: Very pronounced cycles of Mania (feeling very UP!) and Depression. I will, of course wait here if you so choose to spend a few minutes researching yourself, but I will add this cautionary note: don’t assume any one definition applies to all people with this brain activity pattern. That’s the odd, frustrating part of neurological issues and their treatments. Since we have slightly different brains (which consequently function slightly differently even when all the millions upon millions of connections made every Nano-second are working normally) many people with the same diagnosis show different symptoms and severity at different times. Provided, of course, you even have the correct diagnosis! Ever ask two mechanics to sniff out an unwelcome sound your vehicle makes while idling or shifting gears only to have Tech A and Tech B give you different causes for the exact same noise? Unfortunately, the psychological field is like this sometimes. Often like this, in fact. I hope non-invasive brain imaging becomes more of a part of the predictive process, if that’s possible. Just my non-expert medical opinion. 


Maybe the above is new to you. YAY! You learned something and I taught something! We rock! Or, maybe you know exactly what I mean because you have a brain that make life interesting for you, or you live with someone who has a brain that makes life interesting for everyone in the house! I feel for you, dude or dudette. Big Sammy Bro Hug! You’re not alone. 


Speaking of which, here’s another motor vehicle analogy that just went and popped into me skull cap. This applies to what I call “The Disconnect”. It applies to my own depression state-of-mind but perhaps you will find some aspect of it that applies to your own life. And thus: You own a car. A powerful car. Fast. Beautiful. You know what the car CAN do, but as the driver you can’t get the car to do what you WANT it to do. The damn transmission is made of cats! Parts are running around all over the place, but not much is happening in the same direction. Which, in turn, leads to anger and frustration in you, the driver, as you try harder and harder to herd the cats so that you move in the direction you want and need it too. Meds and therapy can help the cats get their litter boxes together for a while but one small, red dot enters your life and the whole vehicle comes to a screeching halt despite your best efforts. And Life, it seems some days, is filled with those little red bastards*. 


                                                                        So hot.

Bottom line, I want to let others who share my dirt know that while we’re not getting dirty together, we can still be ‘friends with intellectual benefits’. You’re not alone, my peeps. That's my whole point of this post. Count me in your camp. Remember, it is part of you, not all of you. And like any other part of you, try to make it work for you in a positive way. I’m a creator and writer outside my 9-5 job. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit some good work hasn’t arisen from an UP! cycle or two!



Be safe, my friends. If you even wonder if you need help, Then Get It. You're worth it. Take care!

Be seeing you,
Sam


*For me, that dot is stress and/or lack of sleep. They get the dominoes tumbling before I ever realize it.  

-----------------------------UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!----------------------------------------

A few people have asked me questions about this post, including why I made such a public admission. Fair enough. I did it because I don't view labels as boxes. To name something, or to divine its true, hidden name is to take away some of its power and influence. It's an old axiom in magic. If put into modern terms it means the more you understand a thing, the more ability you have to take action upon it. Therefore, I'm simply labeling one aspect of my larger self for the sake of fostering influence over it. It is part of me. It is not me. The menu is not the meal. The map is not the territory.

And if a better, truer, or more proven label is found I will drop this one in a heartbeat. Doctors make mistakes, too.

Be well,
Sam



Monday, January 2, 2017

Happy New Year 2017, Humanity!

Your author. Hard at work unraveling the mysteries of Time Space, Pre-Flood human civilization, ancient human technologies, and Mariah Carey's New Year's Eve performance.

To those of us using the Gregorian Calendar, 2016 recently passed away quietly in its sleep while 2017 was born in a small room down the hall. And from the sounds of it, 2017 has a healthy set of lungs. God help us all.

Where I live in Upstate New York (damn right you capitalize that) it also means winter is done running warm-up laps and is starting to hit its stride for a long run. Many of my fellow Upstaters love this time of year. The waking cries of snowmobiles are carried on crisp air. Handlers examine, spray, tighten, and adjust sleepy motors to coax their memories of joyous sprints across untouched snow. The gods stare in awe as their lightning is pushed it into constructs of metal and dripping hoses blasting cloudless snow onto mountain sides by us fleeting mortals.

I am not a member of that venerated fraternity.

I look forward to the ebbing cold and the stretching daylight. The yawns of Spring and the exhausted, failing breath of Winter call to me. The straining seed and green blade speak my name. Come March, my riding lawn mower paces restlessly in the shed eager for the sharpening of its blades and the running charge against weeds. Pale skin, cadaverous in pallor, longs for the burning kiss of Sol.

Translation: Happy New Year everyone! To all my readers in the USA and around the World, I wish you a pleasantly uneventful 2017. May peace and health and prosperity fall upon you in great abundance.

Be seeing you,
Sam

p.s. 76 days until spring in the Northern Hemisphere!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

We want your business.

We want your business. 

We produce art and ideas and feels and we really, really like getting paid for our efforts because it makes making more art, ideas, and feels a whole lot easier.

So, one of our goals for 2017 is earning money from our art, ideas, and feels.

- Crazy, I know. -

Please support our work on Etsy, won't you?

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You will find LOTS and LOTS of work here.

Such as...

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and lots more.  

THANK YOU and please share!