Thursday, February 15, 2018

A Rocket, A Tesla, and Some Horse Poop Walk into a Bar

Stop me if you've heard this one. No, really. STOP ME if you've heard this one before because we just had a unique moment in human history and I didn't know if I should applaud, lament, drink, or do all three. Spoilers: I did all three.

Super Bowl LII closed on February 4th with the Philadelphia Eagles winning over the favored New England Patriots. It was a exciting game to watch and the halftime show's tribute to Prince nestled in Justin Timberlake's performance was great. It was the Eagles' first Bowl win so many fans went nuts. Literally. Just lost their minds.

My team won! Let's break shit! (1)

My team won! Let's eat shit! (2)

The overwhelming majority of fans did not break shit or eat shit, to be clear. So THANK YOU to all who partied hard without burning, breaking, or brawling. I love you all because your actions didn't require me to type "fan who ate horse poop in Philadelphia" in an internet image search for this piece. No one should have to type those words. Now, to be fair I don't think our Fecal Food Critic woke up that morning deciding today is the today I make my dream happen! I do hope he is okay, but I am still going to poke fun at him. Let this be a lesson, kids. Drunken decisions leave a bad taste in your mouth. The outcomes can really stink. You can make an ass out of yourself. You'll be the butt of many jokes. Too many? Sorry. I should have stopped at number two.

That was the 4th.

February 6th arrived to sees the launch of a new rocket designed by a private citizen's space company. Elon Musk's Falcon Heavy tore from the ground on its maiden flight at 3:45 in the afternoon. It was a test flight for a rocket powerful enough to potentially carry humans to the moon and Mars. And it carried a car. And cameras. And a prototype data storage disc made of quartz that can store information that of, "...will be readable 14 billion years and can hold 360 terabytes of data, or around 7,000 Blu-Ray discs." (3) Read the referenced article on the Arch Foundation which helped make this possible. Interesting stuff. Unfortunately, the math was a little off and Mars it will not go, but I think we can throw Spacex a mulligan on this one.

Image from Indian (4)

The car as seen from an on board webcam. I hope they gave Starman a towel. (5)

Looks fake, doesn't it? You're not alone if you thought so. Let me point you to the Hoax Trail. Lots of vids for you to digest while you question your life decisions and read the flame wars in the comment sections. Love you internet!

In this scant forty-eight-hour window we had: small riots over a large sporting event during which a single person became (albeit briefly) the unwashed face of an entire city followed by a day of rest and headaches and mouthwash before a privately held space exploration/delivery service company launched a quarter million dollar car into space as part of a test in the hopes of sending it into a Martian orbit. 

That's one of the best-ish example of humanity's range I've seen lately. It encapsulates so much about us because both the rocket and the riot are so human. That's our species in current year riding the bell curve roller coaster of human behavior. We're all a mix of awesome and asshole, daydreamer and delinquent because you can't have one without the other. That's us. 

And God help me I love it.

Be seeing you,








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