Dear Sump Pump,
It has come to our attention that you have decided to neglect
your duties and stop working. This is most troubling to Girdich Corp. You are an
important and valued employee. You were granted a position with little
oversight. You were provided with all the resources needed to complete your
duties. And yet, you decided to shrug the responsibilities assigned you without
warning. If you were unhappy in your position, a simple letter of resignation
would have sufficed. A bit of forewarning. But no. You acted like your predecessors
and abandoned your post like some drunkard. What? You were the first, you say?
I am sorry to place these facts before you but you were NOT the first. I know
this is unsettling to you, but if it is any perverse consolation, you and those
before you have caused great consternation to Sam. Within this very hour, he
was overheard muttering vulgarities of the lowest order between bouts of Divine
pleading. Perhaps more troubling is the metaphysical trend you and your predecessors
have of picking Sunday night to ignore your established responsibilities.
Rest assured we will determine the cause of this. The sudden, short lived, and
seemingly unrelated power outage Girdich Corp and the surrounding area just
suffered will not deter us. We have made clear note of the fact that the first
draft of this letter was lost in the aforementioned power disruption. Nice try,
as Sam would say. This will be difficult and costly. Much sleep will be lost. However,
Girdich Corp is committed to carrying on. We will not be undone. We will
continue forward in the face of this or other unexpected twists and turns. This
is our pledge. This is our promise.
- The Management
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