A fellow martial artist and I were discussing self-defense
recently when the conversation turned to a point often lost in the sea of print
and online self-defense information.
One of several ways pop culture and media outlets
try to capture our attention, page views, and advertising clicks is by playing
upon our instinctive fear of violence and the unknown. “If it bleeds, it leads.”
as the old saying goes. Random acts of violence are headlined alongside
domestic and social tragedies as if they were equal partners in the evils of the
world. However, the odds of falling prey to a stranger are low compared
to the threats in our own social circles.
You probably already know the person most likely
to harm you.
Let me repeat that.
You
probably already know the person most likely to harm you.
If you pay attention to crime statistics and victim
profile data then this is likely not new to you, though perhaps you’ve never
thought about in these blunt terms. For those who don’t, my statement above applies
to men and women and children. Yup. Everyone. Here are just two of the search strings I used
when gathering data to prove my statement. Normally I would weed out older
data, but in this case an unbroken string of survey data reinforces my point
One. “percentage of murder victims who know their
killer”
The results of the first page of Yahoo’s engine,
for example, contained the following:
Where the
relationship could be determined, 92 percent of black females killed by males
in single victim/single offender incidents knew their killers (406 of 442)
In 2009, 24.2 percent of
victims were slain by family members; 53.8 percent were killed by someone they
knew (acquaintance, neighbor, friend, boyfriend, etc.).
Smith and Jones said it isn’t a
shock that data shows most homicide victims are acquainted with their killer.
The data shows suspects during the seven-year time were boyfriends,
girlfriends, friends, family members, roommates, siblings, parents, children,
in-laws, ex-spouse, neighbor and children of spouses.
Experts and police agree you are more likely
to be killed by your spouse, a relative, acquaintance, employee or business
partner than by a stranger in a random act of crime.
Two. “percentage of rape victims who know their rapist”
The first page results of Google, for example,
yielded:
- Approximately 4/5
of rapes
were committed by someone known to the victim
- Approximately
66% of rape victims know their
assailant
- Myth:
Sexual assault usually occurs between strangers.
- Fact: By some estimates, over 70% of rape
victims know their attackers. The rapist may be a relative, friend, co-worker,
date or other acquaintance.
-1 in 4 women and 1 out of 6 men are sexually
abused in their lifetime; Department of Justice)
-In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knows the attacker; (Department of
Justice)
I was going to list other strings and
other crimes, such as child abuse, domestic abuse, and child abductions, but
the results were the same with only changes in the ‘amount of majority’ the
studies found. And reading the case studies were simply too hard. In the name
of full disclosure, I can’t stomach researching these topics very long. Just
like you I have friends and family who have victimized. Yeah, this is a
personal topic. I get too mad and want to lash out. You may know the feeling.
So, am I advocating paranoia and
distrust? Not at all.
I am encouraging YOU, gentle
reader, to take a close look at who you let into your life and who is around
you, especially in potentially vulnerable situations like when you are going to drink or take drugs.
I am asking YOU to make use of your ability to evaluate, judge, and take action
in order to reduce the opening a predator might take advantage of. Seek the help of professionals and contact the authorities if your situation is not safe. I am saying YOU have Value and you have the Right to adopt a
self-defense mindset. I encourage physical training of course (I am a martial
artist, after all) but situational awareness, educating yourself on where and
how threats typically come from, and the willingness to TRUST YOUR GUT will
protect you far more than any punch or hold break.
Yes, the world can be dangerous, but that
doesn’t mean we cannot take action, make choices, and learn to use our gifts to build
as happy and as a calm life as we can. Plus...
I'm just saying...
*My thanks to the creators of the above memes, whomever they are.
