Articles, observations, and fictions by Sam Girdich: history & philosophy buff, pop culture fan, aging martial artist, husband/parent, and proud owner of a pleasantly odd mind. Co-creator of the graphic arts project Strongarm Labs with illustrator and storyteller Mark Gonyea.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
If I am elected your President
This is how NOT to run things.
I have heard it said that the odds
of becoming President is tantamount to selecting the winning number for several
consecutive lotteries. This is a true statement if only for the reason that
other lottery players are not, and cannot, actively trying to DESTROY you. But
back to the lottery for a moment. Most of us have fantasized about winning the
lottery and enjoying the freedom and security that financial resources provide.
In that vein, let me fantasize about what my Administration might look like.
This is an incomplete picture, of course, but perhaps you will like the outline
you see. Perhaps you will help me fill it in? Honestly, the best measure of my
thoughts and priorities come from reading the words found in the rest of my
blog. Seriously. That’s not self-promotion but a factual statement. Nuff said.
1. A national campaign to start
fostering the U.S. as the most fluent country in the world.
- I will work with the Congress and
Educational experts to develop a monetary reward program for students,
non-English speakers, or just the average You and Me citizen to become
conversationally proficient in English and other languages. I imagine a future
where the free flow of ideas is not halted by language barriers. We can’t have
real communities or neighborhoods if we can’t speak to each other.
2. Mandatory Fact Checking in
- Working with the FEC and
Constitutional experts I will determine if it is possible to REQUIRE all those
seeking political office to provide a list of sources for all political
speeches, advertisements, campaign statements, and fund raising. We require
elementary school students to list their sources when writing papers, so those
seeking political power should at least be held to elementary school standards.
I would go so far as to impose a fine on campaign speech that isn’t provably
3. Re-Evaluating Our Foreign Aide
- Your money, in the form of funds
collected as taxes, is sent outside of the United States in the billions every
year. Much of it does a lot of good for a lot of people, but not all of it.
Therefore, I will re-evaluate where YOUR money goes and what YOUR money does.
If YOUR money isn’t spent in a way that somehow benefits YOU, then I will stop
it. If YOUR money isn’t making the world a little better, a little safer, or a
little less chaotic for YOU and YOUR family, then I have a responsibility to
see it goes someplace it will.
4. The Law
- My administration will follow the
letter and intent of the Law and the limits set forth by the Constitution.
- NASA’s role as been that of
humanity’s unofficial agency of space exploration. I intend to make it
official. When we begin to tap the unlimited resources of the Universe we will
leave behind the resource wars that have plagued human history. The rest of the
world is welcome to come with us on this journey. It is their choice. I have no
desire to drag people into the future.
- I will humbly ask retired Marine
General James Mattis to come out of retirement. I will then give him all the
resources he needs to wipe ISIS from the world. Done.
- I will seek to make the poem
Desiderata, popularized by Leonard Nimoy as ”Spock Thoughts” required reading
in schools. If you’ve read it, or heard Leonard’s rendition, then you know why
I picked it. If you haven’t and decide to check it out now, then I have already
accomplished more than I could have hoped for. Thank you.
8. The Environment
- We need it. I will seek to protect
it. I will consider hard scientific face and NOTHING else. Period. I will also
advocate for the creation of an independent Unintended Consequences department.
This department’s role will be to play Devil’s Advocate before any program
(environmental or otherwise) begins. Any possible negative impacts of a new
program must be determined beforehand.
- The codes need to be simplified.
Too much wasted time is spent trying to figure them out, follow them, or trying
to take advantage of them. We have better things to do with our time. Congress
owes it to the public to K.I.S.S. I will ask Congress to begin hearings on
overhauling the code once I have formed the aforementioned Unintended
Consequences department. I will want to know who benefits from any change lest
the process is hijacked.
10. Area 51
- I will seek to reveal if the U.S.
gov’t has any real knowledge on such topics as aliens or the supernatural and
share it with the public unless it will do more harm than good. I’m sure most
can handle the truth, but until warning labels on products don’t need to tell
people to avoid using electric devices in the bathtub or while sleeping I’d
rather play it safe.
- OH BOY! BORDERS! TRIGGER WARNING!
TRIGGER WARNING! It seems obvious as a student of history that a country should
and must control its border. That little line on a map represents, or is
supposed to, a real thing. Of course, borders are not tangible like a rock or
an I Brake for Unicorns bumper sticker. They are an idea – more on that later.
And yet, it is a very real place marking where one area of private property
(simplifying here) meets another area of private property. Then, within this
larger area are the smaller pockets of private property where you and I live.
And here’s where I see the point many people are missing or ignoring or are
hypocrites. YOU lock your car. YOU lock your windows. YOU lock your door. YOU
try to control, as you should and must, who comes into your private property in
order to safeguard yourself, your family, and your property. I would wager even
those who don’t lock their doors at least close them. If it is okay for YOU to
try and secure your surroundings -even your mental surroundings with Safe Zones
and Safe Spaces - why can’t your country? Think about that in the context of
the current political atmosphere because here’s the BORDER I am actually
talking about. “Secure border” has come to equal racism to many people, but are
you a racist for locking your door? Of course not! And yet the political class
on both sides has spun the discussion to control the conversation on this and
MANY OTHER TOPICS. Look, the deeper we fall into the political trap of avoiding
difficult subjects or ideas through name calling, character assassination, and
blame shifting the longer problems go without solutions. AND THAT’S THE REAL
BORDER PROBLEM WE’RE ALL FACING. Selective outrage has been monetized to new
heights, while righteous hypocrisy is being culturally weaponized. And too many
of We The People eat...it...up.
point demonstrated in our “The Tall and The Dead” comic.
We need to tear down the borders the
political class is erecting around us, my fellow Americans. Perhaps you’ve
noticed that oh so very unsubtle theme behind most of what I’ve written here.
We need to be able to talk to each other like adults and not butthurt kids. If elected President (yeah, right) I
will do my best to help make this happen. Period.
Sam Girdich, write-in candidatefor President 2016.