Holy LEGO, Batman!

Just take my money right now. 

Like, right now. 

I am literally throwing cash at my monitor in the hopes tickets will fall out the other side. 

On a side note, with a show of hands who also owns the 1966 Batman Movie? 

Sweet...

Wondering About Wonder Woman

 

Warner Brothers and DC are trying hard to make up for lost time and a much larger quality gap regarding the big screen adaptations of their characters. High hopes and MILLION$ of dollars are hanging on next year’s Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice film. A large chunk of the hype is not around the titular heroes however, but for a certain amazon whose fans for years have yearned to see in a movie. The portrayal of Wonder Woman will make or break this film for many. Me? I just want a GOOD MOVIE. Entertain me while keeping the story’s internal logic consistent and fleshing out solid characters and I will hand over my money. In that spirit I given you one of several openings I envision for the announced 2017 release of the Wonder Woman film. Enjoy!

Wonder Woman

by Sam Girdich

Fade In:

EXT. A LARGE CITY PARK ON A BRIGHT, SUNNY FALL AFTERNOON. A SERIES OF CUTS:

We see scenes of people, but sometimes the view becomes blurry. Couples read books, listen to music while sunning, or text who knows who while completely NOT interacting with the person right next to them. Parents play with children. Elderly couples walk hand in hand. The view finally becomes completely blurry.

CUT TO:

The shot changes to a very old man (ARTY). He is holding his thick glasses in one hand while rubbing his blue eyes with his other. His cane leans against his bench. We were watching the park and its users through his eyes. He is dressed in clean but old and slightly too large clothes showing he has had, and worn, these items for some time. With his glasses returned to his face he continues people watching. We now watch him watching others. A pattern emerges. He is watching couples or families while he sits all alone. He absentmindedly plays with his wedding ring the entire time but that action is NOT focused on. Let the Audience notice it or not. A tall person walks past him blocking his view for an instant. His attention captured, he turns toward the person.

CUT TO:

It is a woman. She is very tall, confident, and sporting long black hair. He watches her with some interest as she walks away without looking back. She looks familiar. She’s gone in a few seconds.

SFX:

Thud tink

CUT TO:

Arty looks down at the sound. A German, WWII era hand grenade (a potato masher) has just landed at his feet. No time to react. IT EXPLODES!

CUT TO:

The flash and bang pass, but the smoke does not. Someone in the smoke is coughing. A man screams in pain somewhere off screen. Suddenly a young US soldier circa WW II runs into view thinning the smoke. We are now in a dark forest in Germany. The solider is wearing a mobile communication pack. He drops behind a tree as gun fire and more explosions rock the area around him. Panicking he pulls his pack off and reaches for the receiver.

CUT TO CLOSE UP: The unit is damaged. The wires to the hand piece are split.

CUT TO:

He immediately sets to trying to repair the wires. He bites at the thick wire coating to expose a new length of wire. The explosions are getting louder. Soldiers run past him. He twists the two pieces of exposed wire together bridging the gap. A new mechanical sound reaches his ears.

CUT TO:

THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE TREE IS BEHIND

He slowly peaks around the tree.

CUT TO:

Arty’s POV. We see he is only yards in the forest. German tanks approach the tree line. He retreats behind the tree and tries the unit. Bullets fly past him.

CUT TO:

Arty makes a pitched plea.

ARTY:

Charlie Tango Echo. Repeat. Charlie Tango Echo. The Germans are pushing north toward the Luxembourg border. Repeat. This is Charlie Echo Tango. We are in full retreat requesting air support.

SFX: static

SFX:

KABOOM (tank shell lands nearby)

CUT TO:

Arty is hurled through the air. He lands on his own equipment.

CUT TO. OVERHEAD VIEW:

Arty is dazed and bleeding badly from his ears and nose. Several seconds pass. A large, blurry figure leans over him. He reaches for his gun half unconscious. A woman’s dirty, blood stained effortlessly hand pushes his arm down.

DIANA (VO)

Don’t move.

CUT TO. SIDE VIEW.

Diana inspects his injuries. Arty’s panicked eyes watch her every move.

DIANA

You are badly wounded and will likely die. (She speaks calmly and directly.)

Close your eyes. Find what peace you can. I will hold off the Germans while your men regroup.

CUT TO:

Arty stares, gasping for air, at this impossible person who just pronounced his death. She looks closer at him. He looks very young.

DIANA

Close your eyes. Think of your home.

CUT TO: ARTY’S POV

She stands and walks off. She was carrying a bloody sword in her other hand the entire time. She is dressed for battle. Arty watches her transfixed. She suddenly runs off toward the Germans far faster than any human can run. He follows her path, his life still draining. German soldiers fire at her. She blocks with her bracers easily deflecting some back toward the soldiers. She raises her sword and dives into them.

CUT TO: OVERHEAD VIEW

The view switches to Arty’s face. We see the shock in his eyes match the sound of her battle cries and screams of the Germans. She is literally tearing through them and we see it reflected in his face.

SFX

Screams and rending metal. (She can tear apart tanks, lest we forget.)

He looks away and skyward.

CUT TO: ARTY’S POV

It is a clear blue day. Blue just like his eyes. The sounds are fading, calming as his eyes close.

CUT TO: ARTY’S POV. MODERN DAY.

He blinks his eyes open. Several people are standing over him discussing what to do while one person calls 911.

SFX

Crowd words: Don’t move him. What happened? Don’t know. Heart attack? How should I know? Don’t move him.

Excuse me (VO)

CUT TO:

The crowd parts allowing the same woman Arty was watching to approach. It is Diana in civilian clothes. She looks him over and stops at his eyes. They look at each other for a second. She smiles.

DIANA

You can get up.

CUT TO:

She easily but carefully helps Arty back to his feet. A siren wails in the background. The bystanders walk away. She helps him back onto the bench.

ARTY

Where… have you been?

DIANA

I had to leave.

But I am back now.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP ON ARTY’S HANDS. THEY ARE SHAKING. SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH HIM.

ARTY

Stay with me this time?

DIANA

You have my word.

FADE OUT

 

Is this fan fiction? Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t read her book, though I have sampled it over the years. I simply haven’t found a writer (yet) who brings that something to the character that hooks me. It is the same reason I don’t read Green Lantern. Both are awesome, long-lived and well-loved characters I’d like to read but don’t. I never read Daredevil, for example, until I found Ann Nocenti’s run. She brought a something to the book that blew me away. Maybe it is the lack of finding that something? If I know me, and I do, then I may be on to something there. I want more ‘Ann Nocenti moments’ in my comic reading life and Diana is one of several characters I want to experience that with. To me, she is dichotomy in motion. The most obvious being the warrior archetype and the healer archetype if I may fax philosophic. There are others, as well. In other words, she has conflicting natures within her (like you and I) that could be used to examine what it means to be human. Let me stop now before I re-hash the millions of words that have been spilled on the psychology of literary characters. I’m just saying I’ve always thought there was more to her character and if I can’t find what I am looking for then I will create it.

Looks like I answered my own question.

I Mourn the Loss of Evil, Maleficant movie review

I watched Maleficent. If you haven’t watched it then stop reading now. Seriously. Stop because I am about to unload two piles of spoiler filled mad on this movie. The first consists of its merits as a movie. The second consists of the thematic elements that made me want to throw my popcorn at the screen and my head at a wall in a way few movies have lately. I saw this philosophical facepalm days ago and I am still a bit pissed.

Point One to get the boulder rolling. Movie Review. Maleficent is the Sleeping Beauty tale as told from the titular villain’s point of view. Angelina Jolie was, for the most part, very good in this role. She hit her best strides as Maleficent at her villainous peak. She delivered some very good lines and looked the part. Good stuff. She was weakest when Maleficent was the cliché fairy flying about the magic land of blah blah blah. I’m not slamming those parts per se. I went to the movie to see one of my favorite childhood villains, if you get me. The effects were pretty good, as were the creature designs. Sharito Copely as King Stefan was a complete waste of screen time, unless of course he was directed to play a weak predictable abusive cliché psychopath drama-queen with no redeeming qualities at all - opposite of everything King Stefan was in the original Disney telling. He’s the reason Maleficent turned dark and evil in case you missed my subtle hint. Elle Fanning as Aurora wasn’t bad. What at first seems over the top acting makes sense given her character was magically altered as an infant to feel happy all the time. Think about that. She was not the person she was born to be. She was changed by magic into a something not quite human. Perhaps that was for the best considering she was entrusted to the care of three non-humans who lacked of any real idea of how humans work, or seemingly any desire to learn. Aurora mentions in passing a time the fairy trio tried to feed her spiders. Another awesome choice by the aforementioned King, yes?

Where was the Queen, you ask? The woman who carried and birthed Aurora was of no importance to the film or any of the characters. Zip. Zero. None. Forced to lose her only child (at which point she disappears entirely from the film), married to a crazy abusive husband, and doomed to live out her days alone until illness ushers her into the mercifully arms of death off screen. The queen, in my opinion, is the real victim in this tale.

Here’s where the movie started disappointing me. I kept hoping for a sudden twist revealing we were being sold a bill of goods; that the story from Maleficent’s view point was nothing but a lie weaved by the Arch Villainess year after year to devastating effect in her plot to take over Stefan’s kingdom. But no. She spends years caring from afar for a little girl fathered by her abusive first and only love. The caring bit made for a decent redemption vehicle but it was largely unneeded. The child was cursed to die by a very specific age in a very specific way that no power on Earth could stop. Throwing her off a cliff would not have killed her per the very plot event fueling half the movie. But why bring the story itself and logic into the story. If you are looking for the traditional tale brought to life then don’t bother seeing the film. The trailers lie. Per the new standard, they are far more evil than Maleficent ever was. Keep reading.

Point Two. Thematic Elements. What the hell is with reworking villains or monsters into little more than victims lacking coping skills? Can we think of nothing better than taking established tales and giving them the ‘bad is good and good is bad’ Opposite Day treatment? Retelling a story from the view point of the villain can be interesting and thought provoking when done right. It was not done right here, it rarely is. I blame the popularity of John Gardner’s 1971 novel Grendel for a lot of this. Grendel is the Beowulf tale as told by the misunderstood Grendel monster. It drank deep from the well of the late 60’s. It is deeply stacked ’Who am I?’ angst, anti-establishment, and anti-authority wrapped around a vein of existentialism. You can view this yourself in the 2007 film Beowulf. Also an Angelina Jolie film, interestingly enough. Grendel’s attacks on Hrothgar’s hall result largely in part from his sensitive hearing. (Should have called him Grinch, not Grendel.) He’s also the bastard child of the king so there’s the rejected child angle, as well. Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. “Incrediboy” becomes murderous Syndrome. Jason Voorhees becomes, er, Jason Voorhees. At least Anakin became more likeable.

Evil is birthed from circumstance. No one is truly bad. They are only victims. Perhaps then King Stefan is merely misunderstood. Maybe he has a story justifying his actions. I can only assume something bad must have happened to him in that barn he was living in as an orphaned child. Evil is made, remember. Think about the message that sends. It pushes aside the responsibilities of choice, civility, adaptation, and perseverance from the individual. Reducing villains/monsters and their actions to the status of a misunderstood victim is paramount to declaring the world is evil. Evil because it lets bad things happen that turn people evil against their will or choice from which they are powerless to change. Life is twisted into a blind dealer of injustice (real or perceived) which grants the victim the implied sanction to act in any manner he or she wishes. I was hurt, therefore I can and will hurt others becomes the norm. Watch the news and try to tell me this narrative does not already have roots.

Pruning the concept of evil from the landscape of ideas has another awful side effect. Take away villains and monsters and you take away heroes. Joseph Campbell’s work on the Hero’s Journey is top notch. Please read it! Put simply: the journey is a voluntary transformative event enabling growth in strength and wisdom in order for the hero to overcome an initially stronger and deadlier threat. Removing obstacles and threats removes the need for growth and change. Remember that, because all too often in daily life these challenges are internal. A hero sometimes is that man or woman who fights the monster within themselves. Evil doesn’t always wear a hockey mask. The more often evil is renamed or excused away in all its forms, the less important or necessary it is to fight it. It’s all relative, right? “My behavior isn’t so bad. I’m only human. Who are you to judge me?” Why struggle to bring forth the best in you when society’s bar is set so low becomes the question. On cynical days I wonder if this trend is not on purpose, this lowering of the bar. Evil is easy. Good requires work because you don’t get whatever you want to, like a spoiled two-year old. Humans need examples of great Evil and great Good. They help us learn what to avoid and what to emulate.

Conscious, active, and willing evil is real and no amount of smearing the moral color pallet into a dull grey stain will make it go away. There isn’t always another side of the story. Some humans are simply bad as proven by their actions. And we need to stay alert for them. The majority of us, though, are on a path. We have choices. We can choose right from wrong, good from bad, but only if we know what those words mean and how they shape us.